A Beautiful Ghost

Two nights ago, I went home to our house in Bulacan. The house looks so different now. It doesn't feel the same way anymore. Even the smell. It's not how it used to. But I still missed it. I left a lot of important things there and I just realized how suddenly I transferred to Quezon City. The clothes, the bags, the shoes, everything. I suddenly forgot about them. Like I was kidnapped or something then went home one day and see all the stuffs I left. Most of them are either worn out or broken. Sayang talaga! But I really had fun reading my past diaries! Haha.. I can't stop laughing at the things I wrote.. funny me!

Anyway, I was up until past 4 am. But I was already on my bed by 2. I was haunted again. I have this dream where it keeps playing back over and over in my mind. Like it's stuck or something. A dream about me and that someone I was talking about. He went away seven months ago. But we haven't seen each other since then. So I kept thinking how are we gonna look like when we meet for the first time again. What would I say? What will I be wearing? I keep dreaming of it.

But unexpectedly, my dream came true afternoon yesterday. I really thought I saw a ghost. I can't believe it. My heart pounded like crazy and I stood there frozen.

The guy whom I fell in love with for the first time was standing in the same room where I am and I miss him so much.

In my dream, I ran towards him and hugged him. But at that moment, I wasn't able to do that. I barely even smiled at him. I just went blank.

But I realized, he was too. We were aware of each other's presence. It was really awkward. We were sort of evading each other. But he did say hi to me. I wanted to talk to him some more but I guess it was best that we won't. I mean, a part of me wants to go back to him but the other half is telling me not to.

This time, I want my head to rule. I really messed up the last time I let my heart decide.

Tomorrow.. is not just a new day, but a whole new year. And I guess, I hafta be stronger now. I need to grow more. But I'm really glad I got to see him again. And I hope that the next time we see each other, things between us will get better. Well not really that kind of 'better', better.. but an okay relationship. I dunno.. um.. New year, new start diba? :)

So I made a list of the things that happened to me this 2008:

- Last summer, I had my OJT in Makati. I worked in a small events company where I met tons of people. Some were good, some were okay, some were mean and ugly. But most importanly, I met someone who meant a lot to me. I experienced lots of new things that really changed my life. My practicum taught me more than I thought I would.

With my Twinnie and Tito Roly Halagao


James' serious face

- I started to model again. My brother and I became more active this time. I also went back to acting and had a small role in a telenovela in GMA 7 (Ako si Kim Sam Soon). Though I'm starting to think I'm being typecasted as either maarteng mayaman or kikay na boba.

- I made lots of good friends in show business. They really are beautiful people, inside and out.

KSS family at Princess' despedida

playing with Jen's webcam @ the KSS set

KSS Cast party :)

- I also tried hosting. My first hosting gig was a carshow and I was really nervous. I thought I'm gonna co-host it with someone from NU 107, but the guy left early for the Eraserheads Reunion concert. So.. there, I made a mess. But they said I did okay. Haha!

- I had my first real kiss.. (and almost my first boyfriend).

- my THESIS.. which is killing me. I never thought it would be this tight. It stresses me just by even saying it.

Well overall, I could say that 2008 was the weirdest year I ever had so far. But I'm happy how it all went. Right now, I'm just wishing a great year for 2009. So stay safe people..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!